Martin Manley - Celebrating a Suicide


Today I Died

Today is August 15, 2013. Today is my 60th birthday. Today is the last day of my life. Today, I committed suicide. Today, is the first day this site is active, but it will be here for years to come. Release of rights.


Me, age 4


I, Martin Manley, being the creator and owner of all information on the site "", neither hold nor retain any claim or copyright on any part of this web-site. I do not grant these rights to any individual person or entity either in life or upon death. Rather I release all rights to this work - making it public domain. Anyone can do with it whatever they wish.

Martin Allen Manley
August 15, 2013




I very recently discovered that I have an affliction called grapheme-color synesthesia, however I’m not sure I would consider it an affliction since the word "affliction" has negative connotations and I don’t see it as negative. Grapheme means “letter or number”. The synesthesia is the unconscious act of associating two things that most of us would typically see as completely independent of each other - for example tasting letters or seeing sounds.


I could probably multiply four times four by the time I was four. I have been a “stats freak” my whole life, with no apologies to the anti-geek crowd. Growing up poor, I would tear up small pieces of paper and put them in a shoe box. Each piece would have something on it such as “double” or “stolen base” or “pop up”. I would play baseball games using that system – keeping score and accumulating stats. Of course, I did the same thing for Big-8 basketball and NFL football.


I know the question you are asking. "Why did you want to die? ... or Why didn't you want to live?" Here is the answer. I didn't want to die. If I could have waved a magic wand and lived for 200 years, I would have. Unfortunately, that's not an option. Therefore, since death is inevitable, the better question is... do I want to live as long as humanly possible OR do I want to control the time and manner and circumstances of my death? That was my choice (and yours). I chose what was most appealing to me.

Let me ask you a question. After you die, you can be remembered by a few-line obituary for one day in a newspaper when you're too old to matter to anyone anyway... OR you can be remembered for years by a site such as this. That was my choice and I chose the obvious.


I've listed four major reasons for what I’ve done. Of course, there are many reasons not to do it for most people, but I discuss those in “Why Not?” to the left side of this page.



Since my entire life of 60 years is on this website along with, I didn’t think there was any reason why I should have felt ashamed of producing this material. If nothing else, think of it as an autobiography – and maybe the first of its kind, but hopefully not the last.



“Ordinary people seem not to realize that those who really apply themselves in the right way to philosophy are directly, and of their own accord, preparing themselves for dying and death. If this is true, and they have actually been looking forward  to death all their lives, it would of course be absurd to be troubled when the thing comes for which they have so long been preparing and looking forward.”



Diogenes was asked, “What is the difference between life and death?
“No difference.”
“Well then, why do you remain in this life?”

“Because there is no difference.”